Coming Home From Travel – Whose Chore is This?

by Travel

How many of you are guilty of coming home from travel and get in discussions with your partner/spouse about what should be done while you are away?

Do you ever walk in the door and immediately start cleaning or tasking because stuff isn't done?

Do you feel like your partner/spouse should have taken these tasks over?

I would have to answer “All of the above” and it drives my husband nuts. As a frequent traveler I expected my husband to have the house cleaned when I got home because I wasn't the one who messed it up. I also felt like since I was gone for 3-4 days, that the time I was home should be spent on the current chore, not catching up on them. I used to walk in the door and immediately go to the litter box because I knew there would be something in there to scoop. I knew there would be no groceries and that the mail wouldn't be picked up.

Is this fair? No, probably not. I think being tired from travel and being away from home makes me want to walk into a house where I can relax and don't have to catch up on chores. I expect the things that I normally do to be done. Is this expectation realistic? Certainly not from the person at home's point of view.

A friend of mine with kids said when her pilot husband is gone, she's just trying to keep it together. His day job is very structured and systematic and he walks into chaos (her words).  When she explained the types of things her husband does upon arriving, I laughed and said that it was just like me.

Is it the travel that does it or the personality? I know when I leave, no matter how long the trip, everything has to be in order, i.e. trash emptied, leftovers eaten, laundry caught up, house cleaned. That way when I walk in the door, I don't have tasks staring me down.

What do you think? Are you the traveler or the person at home dealing with the traveler? Do you think this relates to personality or travel in general? I would love to hear your thoughts.

 

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jim west

Principal and Managing Director, GFF Architects